I feel it all around me,
Calling me to just tear off running,
Maybe through this field,
Maybe through the one that I ran as a child,
Maybe through the spot in my memory where time has left only the calm and happy.
I’ll get in this truck and drive straight,
Without a destination, but with an instinctual purpose,
My favorite CD serving as my soundtrack.
I’ll drive into the bright pastels of sunset.
The colors will blaze into my eyes and sight and song will merge in my mind.
When the car stops,
I will get out, sit, and watch the blacking of the sky.
New lights, softer and more melancholy, will shimmer down upon me.
I will walk underneath these lights, looking upward and into all time.
The light will hit my eye and reflect this eternity.
My mind will begin to wander down the trails of my own existence.
It will stop and sit on familiar logs,
swimming in Davy’s creek or lying on the sofa in Dot’s living room.
She is still there humming through her teeth, her wizened features focused intently
on the crotchet needles.
She will see me and smile, knowing that I am part of her eternity.
I will smile back, knowing that she loves me.
Regaining the present, I will again focus on the stars.
They will gleam in such enormous numbers
that I will question the importance of my own path.
Maybe it will dawn on me that all paths are connected through time, and a
holy calm will settle in.
Maybe the dark and quiet will heighten my fears and tear my fragile emotions
I will be left frightened and hopeless.
Struggling for harmony, I will lie down in the grass of some field.
I will just breathe.
I will do it again.
My heart will slow, and I will hear the sounds around me that had been
drowned out by my racing thoughts.
I will hear crickets and cicadas and the rustling night breeze.
My mind will again settle, and my blood will slow.
My eyes will close and stay shut,
and the lights will return to the other end of the sky.